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i need help plz help i need advice what do u think i should do?

ive been dating this guy for 7 months he is older than me by 3 years i live in oklahoma he moved to newyork he wants me to come live with him but i dont know if he is been faithfull i want to know if he is cheating on me i trust him and all i just want to know he calls me at late at nite sometimes in the moring but he only talks for a lil bit than if someone comes home he willl say i have to go and it usaully happens at nite he says he will never cheat on me and hes not but all his other ex’s he has cheated on them he told me i have changed him he said hes not going to ever cheat on me but i believe him but i dont how can i change him but all his other ex’s he cheated on its just hard i really hope he is not cheating on me i need help what do u think i should do??

Nikole,

If you look deep inside you and ask you heart for the answer, I think you’ll find that you already know what to do.

There is so much that you haven’t told us that it is very difficult to tell exactly what’s going on. Here are some additional questions you need to consider:

1. How honestly serious is your relationship? Are you both just hanging out together and having fun, or are you both truly serious about getting married some day?

2. What is the nature of your relationship? Are you simply dating, or do you have a physical relationship?

3. Is he, or will he be, supporting you? Does he have a truly good job? How well does he pay rent and provide your needs? Does he do things for you (especially when it comes to money) freely, joyfully and completely?

4. How do you fit within the circle of friends? Do you always come first, or does he “hang out with the guys”, and sometimes other girls, without offering to take you along by his side.

5. Is he really “the one” for you, or is he simply convenient? Are you eager to make a home with him, have children, endure life’s difficulties and grow old with him? Has he consistently demonstrated that he’s “crazy” about you to the point that you’re central to all he does? Is he always honest, always open and always respectful of you?

Nikole, these are the things that are critical to a successful future with a man. If your relationship isn’t currently sitting on solid rock, then its going to sink some day. If you give up your current stability and move to him, and then your relationship sinks, you’ll be in a very unhappy, very difficult situation that you will greatly regret. Know for sure that you can never change someone else, no matter how hard you try, and therefore you can’t go to him hoping that things will get better than they are now because they won’t. Absolutely nothing you can do can change him, only God can do that.

You face a very painful choice. You either have to endure the pain of letting go now when it is your choice, or endure it under much worse circumstances when you have no choice far away with him. Make the right choice now, and move ahead with your life. You’ll get through it wiser and stronger if you do the right thing now and let him go.

Oklahoma Estate Planning Attorney